Why it Pays to Slack... Literally (More Income!)

The other day my friend Caroline said, “The reason your work is compelling is you are obviously very organized, running a successful business, have things put together in your work, are accomplishing lots of things, and yet you tell me you’re slacking.”

Not only am I slacking behind the scenes, it’s the KEY to me being organized, running a successful business, having things put together and accomplishing lots of things.

When I was struggling with chronic pelvic pain, I learned that the more I pressure myself, the worse I feel. The more I push myself, the worse I feel. The more I hustle, the worse I feel.

And, the worse I feel, the harder it is to be organized, create things, run a successful business, and accomplish things.

We learn in our culture to run ourselves into the ground accomplishing things, but that way of working loses sight of the quality and quantity that we can do and accomplish when we’re NOT running ourselves into the ground.

When I first stopped living like that, I was actually confused around what to do with all the extra energy I had. 

I was so used to feeling half-dead that it almost felt like something was WRONG.

This is why I am a self-pressure ninja with my clients. I know that we have to work with that sneaky voice in the back of our heads that is constantly pressuring us before we can ever experience the healing, the extra energy, the joy, and even the business growth that we want.

You know that old saying about beating a dead horse?

As women in this culture, we’re really good at that, except the horse is us. We will keep on whipping ourselves to go forward, move, do, accomplish - and yet it’s as effective as beating a dead horse.

There’s nothing left to give.

Instead, we need to be resuscitating the horse, feeding it amazing nutrients, nurturing it back to health, and then setting it free in a lovely pasture.

This is what slacking really is.

We’re giving the poor horse a chance to actually have the capacity to run again.

I often feel like a horse about to be let out to run free when I’m working on my business. I feel the excitement, the pawing-the-ground, let’s do this energy. When I’m in the zone, I’m that horse, galloping at full speed, flying through the meadow.

That’s the flow.

That’s the alignment.

When we really do step back and slack off the pressure in our mind, slack off the pressure to achieve, slack off in moments or hours in the day, that poor horse has a chance to get back to the feeling of having enough energy to race into the field, full of life.

From that energy space, I can coach thirty-forty clients a week in varying ways. I can write content like this email. I can cook up new ideas. I can be energized by the work I’m doing, not depleted.

From that energy space, I can hear the inner wisdom that’s flowing to me and have the capacity to act on it. My nervous system isn’t caught in fight or flight, burning all my extra energy.

So how do we get out of self-pressure?

There are many ways I help myself and my clients do this, but the backbone of every single one of them is to see each moment and each experience I’m engaging in as an experiment. When we’re pressuring ourselves to have a certain outcome, there’s a great deal of tension and stress.

For example, the other day I was planning a trip to Harry Potter World for me and my daughter. I noticed I was pressuring myself to get it just right and to make the trip perfect.

So, I switched into experiment mode. I reminded myself that there’s no way to have a perfect experience and to expect bumps in the road. This trip is an experiment in how we do Harry Potter World, how we travel, how we play together.

And, once I learn cool things from this experience, I’ll create another, new experience based on this experience, and that one will grow from this one. It too will be an experiment.

When our minds stay stuck in scarcity and lack, we can’t experiment. Opening your mindset to the possibility of the future and the experiment that comes after this one is the key to taking pressure off.

Then, you can also be super compassionate with yourself. “Of course I want this to be a great experience and also am pressuring myself! And yet, I can also remember the experiment.”

This releases the pressure, allows my nervous system to relax, gives me access to inner wisdom again….

And then inner wisdom tells me to pause, not book the hotel right now, and wait.

Two days later, when I go back to the project, flights are cheaper, I remember an important fact about the tickets I was missing the other day, and the hotel I wanted turned out to not be the right one and I land the perfect room at another one.

That is why it pays to slack.

In life, for your health, for your business, for your spirit. For you.

Ninja-ing the self-pressure is my favorite thing we do for you in the Mind-Body Magic Life Coach Training Program. You will leave the program feeling lighter, connected to magic, in the flow, and empowered by your new mind-body toolbox. You’ll find stressful times far more manageable because when they hit, self-pressure won’t sneak out and beat you up on top of all the stress. And, you’ll have all the tools I use with my clients for your own coaching practice. (Or just for you, if that’s why you’re in the program!)

You’ll also learn how to use mind-body (somatic) techniques with yourself and your clients that really get to the root of anxiety, stress, and even chronic pain so that any troubling issues that your clients want to resolve won’t stand a chance. You’ll use the tools on yourself throughout the program as the way to learn them, which gives you the added bonus of taking stress OFF your plate as you move through the program!

You can learn more about this program and others here.