Is Over-Giving Hurting Your Business?

If I could pick just one thing I wish I’d known back when I started my business, it would be this: Be careful of over-giving to coaching clients.

Here’s what I mean. If you’ve worked with me as your coach, then you know that I am all about delivering on what I promise. For example, I recently led a group coaching call about 30 minutes after a family member’s passing. I chose to do that not only because I take my commitments seriously, but also because I love spending time with my clients! I made that choice in integrity, just as I made the choice to take time off the week prior.

But it took me a long time to get to the place where I know what’s enough and what’s too much. And I’m writing this post today to save you some struggle.

As heart-centered coaches and empaths, we tend toward over-giving. The problem is, over-giving leads us to getting maxed out and creating less-than-healthy dynamics with our clients. There’s a shadow side to loving our work as much as we do, and we need to be mindful of it.

Of course, we want to help our clients succeed. That’s how we’re wired! But when we over-give – when we try to be constantly available, or take on too much responsibility for our clients’ results – it creates a dynamic where people just want more. Whatever you give, it’s never enough.

I’ve heard about clients relying on coaches to “solve” a mental health crisis (not the role of a coach!). I’ve heard about clients emailing their coaches a half-dozen times in one day. Years ago I had a past client literally show up on my doorstep, uninvited. That was not ideal!

In all of these examples, we’ve inadvertently contributed to a dependence dynamic. However caring and compassionate we are, it’s not wise for us to be in the mother role with our clients. As coaches, we cannot fulfill that role. The only answer is divine love.

If you’re wondering where the limit is, here’s how you know. Just ask the question: How is your body doing? Are you tired? How do you feel after you've been coaching? If you’re depleted and drained, something needs to change.

Remember, more is not always better. Yes, do your wonderful work and support your coaching clients, but do NOT give them the impression that you are there for them 100% of the time. They need to be tuning into their own inner guidance, not becoming overly dependent on you.

So, how do you avoid this? And how do you handle it when it’s already coming up as an issue?

→ Instill radical self responsibility in your clients from the get-go. In all your messaging and content, speak to people who are ready to take responsibility for their own success.

→ When you notice you’re over-giving, pull back the energy. Figure out what your boundaries are. For example, when clients work with me 1:1, they get more in-depth support and more direct access to me. I include precise language in coaching contracts that spells this out, so we’re all on the same page from the start.

→ Share your boundaries with your coaching clients in a way that empowers them. I know a coach who not only includes her boundaries in her contracts, but also sends a “How to make the most out of coaching” email to all new clients. In this message, she spells out how to succeed while restating those crucial boundaries. It’s a smart move!

→ Remember that the act of simply clarifying your boundaries is going to help you attract clients who fit well with you. As soon as you know what your alignment is, you start attracting it. It starts coming to you.

In my group coaching program, we find who you ARE aligned to work with, and what would bring you the most joy.

If you’re ready to receive the magical abundance and delight you are meant to have in your business … come join me in my program!

You can learn more about the program here.