By Endorsed Mind-Body Coach Gail Kenny

Learning to self-soothe and using it on a regular basis is one of the best ways to reduce stress and chronic pain. It takes some practice, but once you get the hang of it and it becomes a habit that makes a significant difference in being able to more easily come back into balance when life gets challenging.

Anxiety on Top of Pain

I distinctly remember a time when I was really stuck in chronic pelvic pain. I had been experiencing a flare-up of pain for weeks that wasn’t showing any signs of letting up. I had anxiety in addition to pain which just made the pain harder to deal with. I thought that if the anxiety would just go away I could handle the pain.

Then I found the pelvicpainhelp.com website and spoke on the phone with Dr. David Wise, a psychologist who once suffered from chronic pelvic pain and who has found significant relief. His recognition of and familiarity with my suffering, and his kindness and optimism that his approach could help me was so reassuring that when I got off the phone my anxiety was gone and I felt quite a bit better!

We can learn to comfort  ourselves the same way through the practice of self-soothing. When we resist discomfort, anxiety can arise which makes the discomfort even more intense. Self-soothing can reduce anxiety and resistance to discomfort and significantly dial down pain.

How to self-soothe

1.  Notice when you’re worrying or obsessing about pain and consciously change your approach to it. Get a broader perspective by imagining you can take a step back from being in the middle of your pain and simply observe your experience of it instead of automatically reacting to it.
2. Accept that what you’re experiencing is hard, challenging, or uncomfortable. You might be feeling angry, scared or sad. Turn towards feeling the emotions about it and underlying it instead of resisting them.
3. Take at least three mindful breaths and focus on the physical sensations of the emotions while you let go of your story about the pain.
4. Feel the support you already have in the moment. It can be as simple as noticing you have plenty of oxygen to breathe and that gravity holds your body and allows it to rest against the ground or in your chair.  Find a place in your body that feels comfortable and focus there.
5. Then treat yourself as you would someone you love. Be compassionate. Surround yourself with love, have understanding and love for yourself in your situation. Reassure yourself as you would someone you love.
6. Imagine that you’re being held with a kind and loving hand on your back. Or put your own hand on the place in your body that feels uncomfortable and imagine you can channel unconditional love through your hand and receive it in your body.
7. Feel sympathy for the younger part of you who is worried, scared, or unsure. From your fully functioning adult-self, imagine that you’re comforting and reassuring the part of you who is distressed and sense what that part really needs in order to come back into balance. See your adult-self comforting the part of you who is suffering.
8. You can take this a step further and imagine that you have the complete attention, love, and support of a higher part of yourself, a mentor, or a spiritual guide. Imagine that they love you always.

An Example of Self-Soothing

I recently woke up with a sore back from stacking a load of firewood the day before. I noticed my mind starting to go into worry about a big pain flare up and the possibility of being in pain indefinitely. Because I’ve been practicing self-soothing and good self-care I quickly reframed my story about my discomfort and realized that I had lots of resources for calming my discomfort starting with accepting that I had discomfort. I took some time to relieve the myofascial pain by massaging sore spots with a ball against the wall. It really helped. Then I continued with allowing my body to feel sore and reassuring myself that I’m okay and noticing how I’m already being supported in the moment. As I felt the support of gravity holding my body to the earth and the support of the air already giving me plenty of oxygen to breathe I also imagined softening around the discomfort. Then I imagined surrounding myself with a kind and loving presence comforting me and reassuring me that all will be well.

Self-soothing helps relieve the resistance to feeling discomfort and allows you to be with feeling discomfort with a sense of also being comforted and supported. Then it’s not so scary. Then you can be present in your body to feel without blocking the experience. This allows you to also be present with emotional energy around the discomfort. Being with and witnessing discomfort allows it to be acknowledged and that’s what helps it to release and for you to return to balance and comfort.

PHOTO CREDIT: STUART MILES FREEDIGITALPHOTOS.NET

Endorsed Coach – Gail Kenny

When I found Abigail I had been struggling with chronic pelvic pain (including pain in my lower abdomen, IC symptoms, yeast infections and myofascial pain) for over 20 years. Mind-body coaching was the last thing I needed to truly get my life back. I know first-hand the challenges of healing chronic pelvic pain and I’m well prepared to help you with your healing. I’m also a certified Martha Beck life coach and trained psychic.

I work with people in physical pain who have already tried all the normal solutions. I help them heal old dysfunctional habits of thinking and feeling. I teach them to relate to their body, emotions, mind, and soul in new ways, creating relief from underlying tension, healing pain from the inside out and getting back to living the life they want.