I’m so overwhelmed with the ideas about TMS, Mind Body Syndrome, and healing that I don’t know where to start.

I’m afraid that this approach won’t work for me, and I’ll be the only one, ever, who fails at this.

I can’t find my emotions – I feel blank.

I’m afraid to feel my emotions, but I know I need to/have to in order to heal.

I’m researching all the TMS/Mind Body Syndrome/Sarno resources and now I don’t know what to do.

I feel like a big mess.

I can’t figure out what to do next on this healing path, and I feel like I’m not healing at all.

I have to do all these things in order to heal, but it’s completely overwhelming!

Ever had any of these thoughts? Today? Five minutes ago?

Let’s just start with this: These are all completely normal thoughts that come up for most of us who embark on a healing journey using the Mind Body Syndrome (TMS) approach.

The mind has a tendency to try to figure things out, get it right, and achieve a goal. In this case, that looks like trying to achieve pain-relief by getting the mind-body tools “right.”

Unfortunately, as noble as this goal is, it actually causes you much suffering and stress (and makes it harder to find relief). Trying to do things right is actually part of the self-pressure habit that creates stress on your system and results in pain.

Yeah, I know! Catch-22!

So, what the heck can you do about this?

Start by using this tool from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy:

Whenever you notice yourself caught up in thoughts like the ones above, say to yourself:

 “I notice I’m thinking….[fill in the thought here].”

This seems very simple and banal. It’s actually one of the most powerful things you can do.

By repeatedly noticing your thinking instead of actually getting tripped up by your thinking, you slowly create the ability to see past the scary thoughts.

Your inner wisdom starts to sneak in and help you discover what feels right for you in any given moment.

I don’t see any of the mind-body tools and approaches as “have-to’s” at all. When I’m working with my clients, I know that there’s at least a hundred ways to play this game, and what I’m looking for is what resonates the most with the individual client. We are all unique. We all learn differently. I see the tools (mine and others’) as a giant a-la-carte menu. Pick one item off the menu and eat it every day for a week. See how that tastes. Eventually, you’ll start to know which tools are your faves and which are most helpful for you.

One tool, used for a short amount of time each day and practiced regularly for a few weeks, will have a huge impact. It’s much more effective to do that than to try to do a whole bunch of things, overwhelm yourself, and feel stress.

Learning to feel emotions for the first time, learning to stay aware of the body, and listening to inner wisdom can all take some time. Those are really the basic components you need in order to heal, and there are lots of ways to approach those components.

The best approach for healing TMS is to keep it simple.

The thing is, a goal-oriented approach full of self-pressure and trying to do it right doesn’t work in this situation. It’s what we’ve learned to do, and how we usually achieve what we want. This is a time when you’ll start to learn a totally different way to arrive at something you desire. It’s more like sidling up sideways to what you want and accidentally falling into its lap. You can’t chase it, hunt it, or go after it. Instead, you really do need to relax into it and let it simply happen.

I know – that’s much easier said than done! The key is to get interested in what’s going on in your emotional world, your psyche, and your inner life – with gentleness and curiosity. Notice the different ways your mind pressures you each day, using the tool above. Just notice. That’s all! The more you notice, the easier it becomes to shift into new ways of treating yourself that don’t involve self-flagellation.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, afraid, and worried, start with the tool above. You might also take one minute a day to notice your feet. Pay attention to the fact that you have feet (or hands, if your feet are in pain). This is a simple mindfulness practice that helps you begin to befriend your body again. You’re not “trying to do anything” with your feet – you’re just being aware that you have them.

You might have noticed that the trick to all this seems to be noticing! You’d be right.

Noticing is the antithesis of pressuring.

The more you just notice, without doing anything else, the more you can sidle up to pain-relief and fall into its lap.

This mind-body healing journey is not about doing more, doing it right, or succeeding. It’s about discovery and embracing gentleness toward yourself. Whatever you’re doing right now, even if it IS beating yourself up, simply notice and be gentle with yourself. Allow it all to be exactly as it is in this moment.

You can do this.

Abigail